This time last week I had my mom. Now, I don't. I am having a hard time dealing with the shock of her death. I know that it's natural for children to see their parents die, but so young? I am sad for all the things she won't get to witness. Jim and me having kids, my brother settling down and being happy, my dad's retirement, my grandma continuing to enjoy her life in Raleigh, her friends' living their life. However, I'm happy that if she had to go, she went peacefully and didn't suffer and that she won't have to worry about us anymore. Her stress is gone because she is with the Lord. And that does give me some peace.
My dad has seen things that no husband should have to see. My husband has done things that no son-in-law should have to do. My grandma has seen pain that no mother should have to see. My uncle has shown strength that no brother should have to bear. My brother is too young to not have a mother; too young to be the rock for my dad that I know he is. I am amazed by my family every day and so very grateful.
This time last week I had my mom. This time six years ago, my grandma Barbie was still here. Tomorrow will be six years since Barbie died, and a week since I lost my mom. I take comfort in knowing that they are together now.
Writing about this helps. I think. I hope.
Beautifully written and so amazingly strong, you are awesome Shannon!
ReplyDeleteJust keep writing and writing and writing - it is cathartic even if you can't tell today, you will feel the sense of relief the writing brings one day.
ReplyDeleteI still can't even imagine what you guys are going through. We're all here for you!
ReplyDeleteShannon, my heart breaks for you, Rob, and your dad. I too am glad that your mom didn't suffer and "yes" she is now a heavenly angel. She is playing the piano and my Dan is accompanying her on the guitar! The strength that you and Rob have shown this past week is a tribute to your wonderful mom. She loved you two and was so proud of you. She loved being a mom and she was a great one. She stood by me and held my hand along the way as I dealt with losing both a husband and a son.She laughed and cried with me and was always ready to listen. Shannon, keep writing about her. Somehow writing is healing. Cree was a wonderful friend, she was compassionate and kind and never too busy to "listen". I miss her so much and have picked up the phone to call and tell her something 3 times this week.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely lovely writing! Thinking about you and your family during this time...
ReplyDeleteKari
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and worries w/ those who love you and your family.
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